Bullying
Bullying among children is aggressive behavior that is intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Typically, it is repeated over time. Bullying can take many forms such as hitting, spitting or punching (physical bullying); teasing or name-calling (verbal bullying); having other students give them toys or candy so they will be friends or so that the bully won’t bother them; intimidation through gestures or social exclusion (nonverbal bullying or emotional bullying, getting other children to exclude the target); and sending insulting messages by e-mail (cyber-bullying). Many children engage in bullying every day. Although each child is different, those who bully other young people do share some common characteristics. Here are some things to look for:
Common Characteristics of Children Who Bully
• Impulsive, hot-headed, dominant;
• Easily frustrated;
• Lack empathy;
• Have difficulty following rules; and
• Views’ violence in a positive way.
There are many signs that a child is being bullied. Some signs to look for:
• The child comes home with torn, damaged, or missing pieces of clothing, books or other belongings;
• The child has unexplained bruises, cuts or scratches;
• The child seems afraid of going to school, walking to and from school from carpool;
• The child appears sad, moody, teary or depressed when he or she comes home;
• The child frequently appears anxious and/or suffers from low self-esteem.
If you suspect your child is being bullied, remember to support your child, inform others and take action, talk to them about trying the following;
• Your child must remain calm and not act scared. He/she should try not to show that he/she is upset or angry because bullies love to get a reaction. If your child stays calm and hides his/her emotions, bullies might get bored and leave him/her alone.
• Your child must answer bullies firmly in short sentences such as "Yes. No. Leave me alone." He/she start a discussion or argue with the bully.
• Remember to tell your child that violence never solved anything. Your child must avoid fighting. Should he/she feel threatened, he/she should give the bullies what they want. Remind him/her that personal property is not worth an injury.
Please always report to the school any bullying activity!
Sheri I think it is great you posted about bullying. It really is a problem in all schools. Many people do not know what to look for and this will help them!
ReplyDeleteBullying is becoming a bigger and bigger problem in schools. Your list of characteristics will help others. It is a difficult problem to solve. I think it gets especially difficult when parents get involved in the problems between students. It would be much better if we, as teachers, could see and stop the bullying before it gets out of hand.
ReplyDeleteWe instituted the "Stop, Walk, Talk" program at our school. First Say, "Stop". If that doesn't do it then "Walk away". If they still are bothering you then "Talk to a leader". This is useful because bullying is hard to define. It is best to define it by if it is bothering another person. That can vary from day to day. Therefore, if the person says, "Stop" and you persist, then you are bullying. It is easier for the leader to define as well. Taking those steps empowers the "bullied" too. They are essential life skills for kids, and adults, to learn. First Say, "Stop". If that doesn't do it then "Walk away". If they still are bothering you then "Talk to a leader".
ReplyDeleteYour definition of bullying is right on. I love that you share ideas of how kids can combat bullying in ways that are healthy. If a bully doesn't get the reaction he wants, then he is less likely to continue that behavior. As educators we need to help the bully as much or more than those being bullied. I love the book 'Toolbox for Tough Kids'. It has some wonderful strategies to help them. I love your blog.
ReplyDeleteSheri,
ReplyDeleteIt is good to have a reminder about the bullying problem. I, of course, have had to deal with it at times. I would like to think that my experience with it is minimal in regards to my 3rd graders, but it does happen. Sometimes it is among those that were friends only a few days before! It is hard for students to sort out all their feelings on their own and they do need some intervention before it escalates. Of course I give my yearly bullying lecture (or two...or three) and while I do think it helps I know by know how long the attention spans of children can be and when they get heated reason flies out the window!
I am glad you gave out some of the signs of a child who is being bullied. Some of them are the same as what we look for in students who may be abused at home. Anxious and low self esteem are really important to note, while the effects may not seem as serious as bruises, in my experience they last much, much longer than a bruise. They are also harder to clear up and can affect a person throughout their life. Our son was in his first year of pre-school this year and it was pretty hard to watch him deal with some bullying. We of course as parents tried to deal with the issue and to help him out, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch your own child have to go through the experience. I remember some bullying I received as a kid, and it wasn't very fun! It lingers for a while doesn't it?
Great post Sheri, this is definitely a topic that needs to be addressed pretty often. As an educator I feel I need to protect students who are in my class from this type of behavior as much as I can.
Jeff Corry
What a great topic to get a handle on during the summer. With how much bullying there is being covered in the media, this is something that schools should be watching more closely and preventing in schools.
ReplyDelete