HOW TO WORK OUT CONFLICTS
(Fairly and Peacefully
1. STOP . . .
before you lose control of your temper and make the conflict worse.
2. SAY . . .
what you feel is the problem. What is causing the disagreement? What do you want?
3. LISTEN . . .
to the other person's ideas and feelings.
4. THINK . . .
of solutions that will satisfy both of you.
If you still can't agree, ask someone else to help you work it out.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. Have you ever started working on a project with a friend and gotten into a disagreement? What caused the disagreement?
2. How did you feel? What did you say or do?
4. Does getting angry make things better or worse?
5. What happens when people who disagree don't listen to each other?
6. When you fight, do either one of you get what you want?
7. Why is it important to settle conflicts peacefully? What can happen if you don't?
8. Are there some conflicts that can't be resolved?
STUDENT ACTIVITIES
1. Write the steps for working out conflicts on the board. Discuss each step.
2. Ask the children to describe a variety of conflicts that commonly occur at school.
List these on the board.
Select two or three of these and discuss how the steps for working out conflicts could be applied to each situation.
Have the kids role play some of these situations, either as themselves or with puppets.
Afterward, have a group discussion to evaluate the outcome of each role play.
3. Introduce the concept of using words to express feelings instead of blaming someone else or using physical force.
Use a "why" message to state what's bothering you and why
Example: "It really bothers me that you aren't willing to work this out together instead of arguing all the time."
A "blaming" message says what's wrong with the other person.
Example: "You are ruining our project. You're a jerk. You never do anything right."
A "why" message is constructive and points to a solution.
A "blaming" message puts the other person on the defensive and leads to more conflict. "Why" messages usually work better.
Referring to the list of conflicts on the board, have students role play with puppets or as themselves using "why" messages instead of "blaming" messages.
That is some great information on working out conflicts. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy how you included activities for students to process, brainstorm, and role play how to resolve conflicts. Sometimes students will recognize the importance of change, but unless they practice the change they do not learn it internally. I can see how these same exercises would be useful for professionals working out programs in a school ;)
ReplyDeleteI really like your steps for working out conflicts. Once a week we teach character education at our middle school for 15 min. This would be a perfect lesson for these kids! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI like your information on conflict resolution. I really think the role plays are a great idea. It puts the situation right in front of them. I could use your ideas in my 2nd grade classroom. You have done a nice job on your blog.
ReplyDeleteIn church today a nursery teacher made the point that has been made before, that the things you really need to know occur when you are very young. Learning how to cooperate and communicate are the staples of everything else we do. Reviewing how best to do that was something I enjoyed reading. I wonder why we all seem to forget some of these basics regularly. Maybe I'm speaking out of turn for others, but I know I routinely forget the basics. Thanks for the great post.
ReplyDeleteAfter spending a week on Cedar Mountain for girls' camp, I see these skills are something I need to put in our camp supply bucket. We could go over these skills the first day and practice them the whole time we are camping.
ReplyDelete